Around probably 5am -ish, the contractions were getting incredibly painful. I was definitely in transition and feeling that doubt and fear in full force. The contractions were ripping through me and I was SO exhausted. The midwife checked me and said I was a “stretchy” 8cm and she was pretty sure that if she broke my water, he would be born shortly after. I’d been adamant throughout the pregnancy that I did NOT want my water broken, so I refused, but after a few more contractions, we decided to trust her judgment and let her go ahead.
The Story of Jude Coming Earthside
December 31, 2016 — 5:47am
Quick preface: For those of you who aren’t familiar with Wren’s birth story, she joined us at 38 weeks and 5 days after a quick 6 hour labor. Without going into too much detail (you can read the whole story here and here), I will tell you that the delivery was a bit complicated and left me recovering physically and emotionally for quite a while. I experienced a partial uterine inversion (my uterus started to come out of my cervix after the baby) and hemorrhaged, losing about 1 liter of blood. We suspect that this happened because the OB who delivered Wren yanked on the umbilical cord to try to speed up the process of birthing the placenta. When we found out we were pregnant again, I immediately worried about how the next delivery would go and spent a lot of time over the following months trying to find peace and allowing myself to trust our new medical team.
So, now to Jude’s story!
I wish I could begin this with something like “it was a dark and stormy night,” but truth be told I can’t remember what the temperature was like outside, or if it was even drizzling. Chances are it was at least dark, because it was night time, but even on that note I cannot be 100% certain. The reason for this is that my wife and I spent the first part of the evening in pain, tag-teaming the bathrooms in our home just a day after our little baby bird got the flu and erupted all sorts of fluids and chunks, some identifiable and some completely foreign, from both ends. Apparently, it was our turn for this bug… and a whole lot more than some chunks was about to get erupted. Continue reading “The Little Man”
For those who have never created a birth plan, you may be wondering what the importance of this “birth plan” business is. It does sound a bit “crunchy”, and some of it can be depending on your preferences, but a lot of it is just being prepared to handle certain medical situations that may arise for mom and/or baby. When you are in the throws of labor, it is very hard to think clearly (for both mom & birth partner), so making these decisions ahead of time when you can research & think clearly and rationally is crucial. I think many people assume that birth plans are only for natural labors & deliveries, but it is truly just a plan for your birth and is important for every type of delivery!
Before we started trying to get pregnant, I had no idea that birth plans were a *thing*. If you’d asked me then what I hoped my future birth plan to look like, I would have said something like “go to hospital —> have baby—> go home.” However, during the nearly two year process of trying to get pregnant, I learned so much about my body and all the amazing things it is capable of. I’ve spent countless hours reading birth stories of all types in order to help me conceptualize the kind of birth I wanted. I learned two really important things reading through these other women’s experiences. One: while mom & dad (or other birth partners) birth experience IS important… NOTHING is as important as the safety of mom & baby. And two: babies have their own plans.
“No plan survives contact with the enemy.” Helmuth von Moltke – German military strategist
If you’re like me, you’re walking into this birthing thing without fixating much on the “birthing experience.” Granted, this is because I am a guy and I will not be passing a small ham out of my pee hole, but that is neither here nor there. People have been having babies for, what, 10,000 years or so? I mean, you can literally have a baby entirely by accident, without even knowing that you’re pregnant until “splash” you literally take your kid to the pool when all you’re trying to do is enjoy your morning coffee. No planning, no preparation, you don’t even have to miss tonight’s episode of Game of Thrones, and you’ve got a screaming crying bundle of joy to boot. Congrats, mom! Nowhere in that equation was there a suitcase full of tennis balls, “adult” coloring books, bath salts, massage oils, and certainly not a page-long birthing plan. Plan? Continue reading “Gang Aft Agley”